Close Encounters Of The Ed Kind
by PatMas
Summary: As part of his latest scam, Eddy has Ed and Edd disguise themselves as aliens to fool the kids. Things soon go horribly wrong. Chapter 2 now up! Please Review!.
1. Default Chapter

This is my first story for Fan-Fiction.net. Please go easy on me.  
  
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The Eds sat on the sidewalk, bored out of their skulls. Eddy, once again, was having a bad case of scam block.  
  
"AARGH!! I hate it when this happens!" he yelled.  
  
"So do I." Edd looked rather annoyed. Eddy's voice could be so loud and irritating at times.  
  
Ed stared blankly, obviously off in his own little world. Eddy's voice snapped him out of his daze. "What were we doing again?" he asked stupidly.  
  
Eddy had a rather annoyed look on his face. "For the billionth time, Monobrow. We're trying to think of a scam. Or at least Sockhead and I have been trying. You haven't done much of anything." Eddy frowned at Ed.  
  
Ed looked a bit guilty. Edd rested a hand on his shoulder. "Their, their, Ed. Eddy didn't mean what he said." Edd frowned disapprovingly at Eddy. Eddy gritted his teeth. "I'm sure you've thought of a great scam, have you not?"  
  
Despite his frustration, Eddy grinned. "Yeah. Tell us, Monobrow. What's this fantastic scam you've been cooking up?"  
  
"People eat scams?" Ed looked confused, then excited. "Can I have ketchup on mine?"  
  
Eddy banged his head on a lamppost. Edd, once again, spoke to Ed. "What Eddy means, Ed, is have you thought of a good scam by now?"  
  
"Uh..." Ed stared blankly. A trickle of drool ran down his chin.  
  
Edd and Eddy stared at him. "Well?" Eddy asked annoyed.  
  
Ed snapped out of his daze. "Sorry, guys. I was thinking of the Marshmallow Men from the planet Puff." Ed smiled then a look of horror crossed his face. "And there's one now!"  
  
"What are you talking abou-" Eddy's question was interrupted as a baseball hit him in the face and knocked him to the ground.  
  
"Nice catch, Dork." Kevin said sarcastically. He was wielding a baseball bat over his shoulder. Behind him was Rolf, wearing a catcher's mitt. Both of them approached the Eds.  
  
"Why, hello, Kevin. Hello, Rolf. How are doing today?" Edd asked.  
  
"Fine, Dork. Can we please have our baseball back?"  
  
"Baseball?" Ed, once again, looked confused. He stared at Eddy, who was lying on the ground in daze. The baseball stuck out of his mouth. He turned to Kevin and Rolf. "Do you mean the Marshmallow Man who is currently abducting Eddy?"  
  
Kevin looked confused. "What?"  
  
"Rolf is confused. What is this "Marshmallow" that Cabbage-headed Ed-boy speaks of?"  
  
Edd smiled yet again. "You'll have to forgive Ed. He's watched so many Sci- fi films in the past that sometimes he-  
  
"MARSHMALLOW MEN!"  
  
Edd, Kevin, and Rolf stared at Ed. His sudden outburst also snapped Eddy out of his coma.  
  
"Would you cut it with the stupid "Marshmallow" already?! We're not getting anything done with you constantly blubbering about-" Eddy stopped in mid- rant as he noticed Kevin for the first time. He frowned. "Would you watch where you swinging that stupid baseball, you dumb oaf? You nearly gave me a concussion!"  
  
Kevin frowned. "Who you calling a dumb oaf, you-" Kevin was interrupted as Eddy was suddenly lifted from the ground by Ed. "The Marshmallow Men are invading! We must take shelter!"  
  
Eddy shouted at Ed. "What are you doing, you idiot? Let me gooooooooooooooo- " Ed started running, clutching on to a screaming Eddy. He zipped past Kevin, who got spinned around widely. The baseball bat flew out of his hand and collided with Rolf's face.  
  
Rolf lay on the ground, dazed and with the bat in his mouth. Edd was too busy staring at Rolf to notice Ed grab him along with Eddy.  
  
Edd looked back at Kevin and Rolf, who were both lying on the ground and were nearly unconscious. "Oh, dear." He moaned.  
  
Eddy was furious. "What are you doing, you idiot? Have you gone insane?!  
  
Ed responded to this by stuffing both him and Edd through his basement window. Ed himself dived in a second later.  
  
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When they were in his room, Ed finally looked relaxed. "We are safe. The Marshmallows will never find us here."  
  
His friends stood behind him. Eddy had an annoyed look on his face while Edd looked worried. "I think we'll have much more important things to worry about than Marshmallows when Kevin and Rolf finally catch up to us, Ed."  
  
"Yeah. And we still haven't thought of a scam!" Eddy yelled. He crossed his arms and turned away from Ed and Edd. Suddenly, that of curiosity replaced the sour expression on his face. He put a hand to his chin. "Or have we?"  
  
Edd continued to lecture Ed. "Ed, how many times to we have to tell you that Science Fiction movies are just that - movies. They're not like real life at all. There are no such things as Marshmallow Men or any other bizarre creatures you may have seen in some film."  
  
Eddy suddenly pulled Edd's hat over his head. He had a huge grin on his face. "Of course there is, Sockhead. What are you talking about?" He went over to Ed and swung an arm over his shoulder. "Don't listen to him, Monobrow. He's had one too many bowls of that genetically-harvested oatmeal."  
  
Ed made a look of disgust, upon remembering what that stuff tasted like.  
  
Edd, meanwhile, had finally managed to pull his hat off his face. He frowned disapprovingly at Eddy. "Eddy, what are you up to?"  
  
Simple, Sockhead." Eddy reached over and swung his other arm around Edd's shoulder. "Ol' Burrhead here just gave me my greatest idea yet! You guys can dress up as aliens and terrorize the rest of the kids in the Cul-de- sac."  
  
There was silence for a moment. Finally, Edd spoke. "What?"  
  
"ALIENS!" Ed yelled in joy. He laughed and ran out of the room, saying on the way to the door "I will make the costumes!"  
  
Edd and Eddy stood alone in Ed's room. Edd frowned once again at Eddy. "What do you mean, "dress up as aliens"? What kind of an idea is that? Are you sure that baseball didn't hit you too hard?"  
  
Eddy smirked. "Quite a sense of humor you've got their, Double D. And anyway, let me explain. You and Ed can dress up as alien and terrorize the neighborhood. I'll then scam the kids into paying me money to get rid of you two."  
  
Edd still looked annoyed. "Why do I have to be an alien?"  
  
Eddy, still grinning, responded. "I'm too handsome to be convincing."  
  
Edd rolled his eyes. Suddenly, a large, green thing came crashing down on his head. It turned out to be a hat/helmet designed to look like an alien forehead. Ed stood next to him, holding his own forehead. "What do you think, Double D?" Ed put on his forehead and beamed proudly. "I made them myself".  
  
Eddy snickered. "So, what do you say, Double D? You in?"  
  
Edd sighed. "Take me to your leader." He said dryly. 


	2. Chapter 2

Here's Chapter 2 for you're viewing pleasure.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Eds. They belong to Danny Antonucci and AKA Cartoons.  
  
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Eddy looked at his friends and grinned. "You did a great job on the costumes, Ed."  
  
The Eds now stood outside on Ed's front lawn. The scam was about to begin.  
  
"Why thank you, Eddy. I feel all warm and crispy inside!" Ed beamed proudly.  
  
Edd didn't look quite as amused. "Eddy, it will take weeks to get these paint stains of my skin!"  
  
Aside from the alien foreheads that they were wearing, Ed and Edd now wore alien jumpsuits constructed from tin foil. As if that weren't enough, Ed also had painted his and Edd's skin green.  
  
"Would you quit your complaining, Sockhead?" Eddy frowned then smiled his crafty smile. "You'll thank me for this once we're rolling in jawbreakers!"  
  
Edd sighed. "We shall see, Eddy. I wouldn't put any wagers on the success of this scam if I were you."  
  
Eddy rolled his eyes. "And THANK goodness you're not me."  
  
"Can I be you then, Eddy? Please?" Ed looked excited.  
  
"Not this stupid game again! The only thing you're going to be is an alien, Ed. Now go out there and scare the pants off of the other kids." Eddy pointed down the cul-de-sac.  
  
Ed looked determined. "You got it, Eddy!" He then laughed and took off running down the street.  
  
Eddy turned to Edd. "What are you waiting for? Go out there and help him!"  
  
Edd sighed. He took off running after Ed, calling. "Please slow down, Ed. You know I can't run as fast as you."  
  
Eddy grinned as he watched his friends disappear into the horizon. Everything was going according to plan.  
  
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Edd slowed to a halt, panting. He couldn't take another step. Why did his friends always have to ignore everything he said?  
  
Ed stood a few feet in front of him, looking at something.  
  
Edd walked over and rested his arms and head on Ed's shoulders. He had to or else he would have collapsed then and there.  
  
"Ed, *pant* why *pant* can't *pant* you *pant* stop *pant* running *pant* so *pant* fast?" He asked.  
  
Ed, not paying attention, grabbed Edd by his chin and turned him to what he was looking at.  
  
"What a beautiful day, huh Plank?" Jonny walked out of his front door and started down the street. He was wearing an orange life jacket and a fishing hat. In one arm, he held a fishing rod and a toolbox. In the other, Plank, also wearing a life jacket and hat. "I'm going to catch me some big ones today!"  
  
"Uh, oh." Ed grabbed Edd and dove into a bush.  
  
Edd, as usual, was nervous. "Ed, don't tell me you're doing what I think you're doing."  
  
Ed put a finger to his lips. "Shush."  
  
Jonny walked past the bush then came to a stop. "Boy, Plank, ever get the feeling you were being watched?"  
  
He put an ear to the board. "In the bush? What?"  
  
He walked over and peered over it. "I don't see anything, Plank."  
  
"BANZAI!" Ed stuck his head and arms out of the bush.  
  
"For crying out loud!" Before Jonny had a chance to run, Ed grabbed him and pulled him in the bush. A struggle took place inside. Suddenly, Edd was thrown out, stars circling his head. "Remind me never to get in the middle of a fight again."  
  
Jonny had finally managed to free himself from Ed's grasp. He grabbed Plank and took off running, leaving his fishing gear behind. "Martians are invading, Plank. We have to warn the others!"  
  
Ed laughed. "Look at him go, Double D!"  
  
Edd stood up and dusted himself off. "Eddy never plans his scams ahead. Doesn't he realize that once Jonny tells the other kids about this we will be discovered?"  
  
Ed looked clueless as always. "I have no idea what you just said, Double D." He then grinned his great big grin. "After that Jonny!" Grabbing Edd by his hand, he took off after Jonny, dragging Edd painfully on the street as he ran.  
  
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"Just wait until I get my hands on those Dorks, Rolf." Kevin was not happy as he walked down the street. "They'll need tweezers to pick up the pieces."  
  
"Rolf agrees, Kevin. Those screwball Ed-boys have barked up one tree too many."  
  
"I have no idea what that means, man. But you're right when you say those Dorks need a good pounding."  
  
Suddenly, a scream came from a distance away.  
  
"What was that?" Kevin asked.  
  
"Sounds like Meatball-headed Jonny." Rolf responded.  
  
As if on cue, Jonny ran up to Kevin and Rolf, out of breath. "Martians! *pant* That way!" He pointed in the direction behind him.  
  
Kevin and Rolf looked at each other and then turned back to Jonny. "Martians? Yeah right. You're imagining things, Curly." Kevin rolled his eyes.  
  
Jonny frowned. "Oh, yeah? Well, is that my imagination?" Jonny to pointed the direction again. Ed suddenly entered the scene, still dragging Edd on the ground.  
  
"Take me to your lettuce!" He yelled, running towards the three.  
  
Kevin looked confused. "What the?"  
  
"We must flee!" Rolf grabbed Kevin in one arm, Jonny in the other, and took off running.  
  
Ed started to give chase but Edd grabbed his ankle to stop him. "Please let them go, Ed. We can harass them later. I'm tired." He looked exhausted, in fact.  
  
A sad look crossed Ed's face. "But we're aliens, Double D!"  
  
"I know, Ed. But we really ought to see how Eddy is doing."  
  
"Eddy!" Ed laughed and bolted towards his house, leaving Edd lying on the ground.  
  
"Um, Ed? Can you give me a hand here?" Edd called after him. He was so tired he couldn't pull himself off the ground  
  
"Sure, Double D." Ed ran back to Edd, picked him up, and took off running again.  
  
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Eddy rolled on Ed's lawn, laughing his head off. "They took off running? That's too rich! I can't wait to see their faces!"  
  
Eddy started laughing again. Ed joined him and the two giggled together. Edd frowned at them.  
  
"Well, I'm glad to see you two are happy. I know laughing is one of the last things I'll be doing once the kids discover our scheme." He crossed him arms.  
  
Eddy stopped laughing and frowned. He walked over to Edd. "Why can't you ever have any confidence in me? I'm the man with the plan, remember?"  
  
Edd's mood didn't improve. "So what's your plan.. Man?  
  
Eddy grinned. "I'm glad you asked. I'll talk to the kids and pay them to have me get rid of you and Lumpy. We all will escape unharmed and with cash to boot. What have I been telling you? It's the perfect plan!"  
  
Edd continued to frown.  
  
Eddy matched his frown with one of his own. "What's the big deal? You don't even have to do anything this time."  
  
Edd sighed. "Very well. Continue with this doomsday plot."  
  
Eddy grinned. "Glad you see it my way. I'll see you boys in a bit." Eddy walked down the street, leaving his friends behind. He chuckled. Sometimes, he even surprised himself. 


End file.
